Last fall, I experienced what I consider to be a radical awakening in my process of healing from trauma. In that moment, which occurred over several days, I felt as if the trauma which had been trapped in me, was entrenched in me from continual activation, had finally stopped.
Even though the events of the trauma had ended years ago, it had continued within me, year after year, my body, my psyche, my emotions, unable to differentiate the repeated activation from the actual trauma.
The radical awakening was a stunning period of differentiation.
My parents are taking time to allow the person who abused me into their home. They have told me he is coming to let me know not to come over while he is there. They will let me know when he is gone. The abuse was so long ago.
Now the early morning sun is slowing rising above the edge of a passing cloud bank. The cloud filtered light shines across to the western mountains, making it appear as if the light is emerging from them rather than resting on them.